rewriting sadness over and over again

​sadness

I speak about it more

often

for

our life is

like a bamboo standing tall

in the hill


sooner or later

one way or another

no matter how


the bamboo may fall in the river


drifting in solitude

in the cold


bumping on the edges

bumping on the stone

fading in the dark and lost

and no one will ever notice

till it reach the ocean


like peoples live rolling on the waves

hollering in madness

riding on the mist 

crushing in the ground


for what…


there is

nothing new

under the sun

everything is…

nonsense


sadness

was in every heart on

each one of us


it can be seen

felt

it sat with us 

on the chair

after a long afternoon nap

on summer break

when we are young


staring the descending sun

melted at the edge of the world

the cloud folded in the sky

like clothes in the closet

how darkness separate 

itself

from the moon and the stars

with this feeling of fear

of growing older

and death


MEN ARE INSATIABLE!


my philosophy professor

said on my socphilo subject

back in college


thinking about the bamboo dancer

at the library written by N.V.M. Gonzalez

to read it before mid-term exam


it made me sad

with those days had over

“all of us die when we finish our studies

and go out on the world for living.”

I don’t remember if where I get that phrase

but it was still in my ears


” there is

something wrong inside us

that cannot be satisfies

by nature. “

the book says…


why

shake our head with disbelief

spit the cold coffee

at the side

from our lip

letting the cup to fall in the floor

sweeping the ruin and debris

we made out of our foolishness

saying this isn’t fair

life is unfair


I tried to stand 

and make a step

trying to join with everybody

to be somebody

hoping to throw a one last shot

a good one

ignoring everything


for what…


like it said,


there is

nothing new

under the sun

everything is…

nonsense


it is best to do it right

before it’s late


accept

how sorry we are

of being proud

of being selfish

of being an a hole

and insensitive


and don’t ever say


I done nothing worthwhile

I’m tired 

I’m just really tired



there is 


sadness right 

beside 

it waits for the night

staying a little while 

knowing we’ve gone too far

from what we are

neglecting the opportunities

to understand

what really are

our purpose 


do what is right

for yourself and to other

to your love one

to those that hates you

to people who ruining the world

to civilization

to human race

to those that make things not simple

to cruelness over one another


sadness

like a bamboo moving

slow 

in cold ocean


drifting lonely 


like all of us

beside


maybe I am wrong

maybe they are right

perhaps what I stopped believing

is right 

and believe deeply till I last


some people may say


who care

who care

who care…


no one 

do a saddest smile 

as sweet as red roses on the vase

only those that do sacrifices 

for they love

Herbert Siao

August 2016

Kingdom of Saudi Arabia


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